Look who’s being all relatable.
aaaaaand this is why I love Simon Pegg SO much <3
via scott-tape
(via itsviictor)
“Leap Day William, Leap Day William, bursting from the sea! Will he bring his bucket of sweets for mom and pop and me?”
Poke your eye, pull hair, you forgot what clothes to wear!
bb parks and rec
OMG.
This just saves me time from having to build that shrine.
(Source: plays-with-squirrels, via ifc)
My Suggestions for Star Wars Episode One 3-D
Usually recycling trash is a good thing. Like using a go-gurt package as a prophylactic. But this time it’s unforgivable. To a life-long Star Wars nerd, Episode One was about as awesome as a swift kick in the shin. Now, George Lucas wants our hard earned money just so he can kick us in the other shin, even harder, while wearing glasses. Here are a few improvements that could’ve made this re-release less of an insult.
- Digitally remove Jar Jar Binks from any scene he appears in. If a scene doesn’t work without him, remove it all together.
- Have Portman pick a hairstyle and stick with it.
- Give Darth Maul more lines.
- Give Anakin no lines.
- Change all other lines.
- Actually, just have Liam Neeson do his monologue from Taken.
- Replace all podracing scenes with chase scenes from Smokey and the Bandit.
- Keep Yoda as a puppet.
- Turn Mace Windu into a puppet. (See: Michael Bibble, The Daily Show)
- Have Samuel drop the MF bomb multiple times.
- Have Jinn and Kenobi act like 80’s buddy cops.
- Jinn should be too old for this shit(sith?)
- Just splice in images from Avatar to make the 3-D actually impressive.
- Have a blooper reel and play a Paul Simon song over it.
- If all else fails, add another Death Star.
Dramantic Romedy
As I type I’m watching the movie Say Anything… starring John Cusack and no one else important. It’s about a guy who is regarded as a slacker despite his good looks, wit and charm (I mean, he does wear a trenchcoat) who totally courts the shit of the high school valedictorian while her white collar criminal father cockblocks him the whole movie. The characters feel like real people and the drama feels like real drama and all in all it’s a damn good movie.
If I ever write a romantic movie, whether it be a romcom or a romdram or a mumblerom or a snuffrom I wouldn’t know where to start! The average Valentine’s Day swill that comes out these days is so formulaic that a middle schooler with a head injury could play a game of Madlibs and end up pitching the next Katherne Heigel movie. It’ll be called “When Life Gives You Lemons!” Oh, she’s so quirky when she falls down!
But that’s not enough to get the real suckers in the seats. To do that you’ve got to make mediocre romance but with magic or vampires or mummies(full circle, it’s coming.) I’m talking tweens. I’m talking about defining a generation. I’m talking about merchandising ya’ll.
A realistic romantic movie for 2012 would be based on two twenty-somethings that meet on OkCupid and their hook ups don’t fizzle out in the first month. More drama you say? She can be a breast cancer patient or something else relevant. For laughs, the guy’s best friend is also his adopted brother who -get this- is a different race and/or sexual preference than he is. “No he didn’t!” he’ll say topically.
I’m going to write a spec script for a sitcom called Missed Connections. It’ll be about a guy who makes really vague craigslist personals and just lets it ride. Yeah, that’s too good of a premise to just let go on a joke. Gotta get to writing that now…
